People tend to underrate their attractiveness, study finds

Men and women see themselves as less appealing than members of the opposite sex do, conclude psychologists Jennifer Siciliani of the University of Missouri and Ryan Pride of Saint Louis University. They presented research at the American Psychological Society annual meeting last month.

No matter how buff, men rate themselves as being less muscular than women do. Women perceive themselves as heavier than men see them.

The research is aimed in part at finding out why so many women, and an increasing number of men, have eating disorders.

Driven in part by Hollywood portrayals of body types, too many of us have unrealistic expectations about how we should look, the researchers said. "We tend to think the opposite sex wants a much more desirable figure than they actually want," Pride said.

In another study presented at the convention, Utah Valley State College psychologist Steven C. Clark, found that it’s likely you don’t think you measure up physically to what a potential mate wants when you look at yourself in a mirror.

Clark and colleagues questioned 53 men and 86 women, asking each to rate themselves on a variety of traits. Neither men nor women felt they measured up in appearance, and most men also doubted if potential mates would think they were hardworking or ambitious enough.

Other findings:

Women overestimated the importance of cleanliness and hygiene to men.

Men worried they might be less caring than women would want.

Women felt they might not be forgiving enough or have the patience a mate would desire and also worried whether they’d measure up on emotional stability.

Men worried whether their communication and social skills would meet a woman’s expectations and also doubted they were educated enough to snag their ideal mate.

Women felt they were more religious than a mate might want them to be.
"Overall," Clark concludes, "both men and women want a romantic partner who is better than themselves."

Men also want women with a sense of humor, and job status lower than their own, the study found. In general, women weren’t nearly as happy with themselves as were men. And women, but not men, were looking for a romantic partner "better" than themselves — an expected finding because females, Clark says, are known to be more selective than men in mate selection.

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